DJ = playing other people's music, no performance
Bootleg = spliced pop-songs miming performance
Ambient = live process/improvised drone performance (aka. the Za Ginipiggu trials)
Gameboy = live Nintendo Gameboy/megaphone/kazoo performance
32 - 14/1/10 @ The Bar, Chelmsford (DJ)
Oops. I forgot I'd been booked to do this months ago. Before I decided to retire. Oh well. I spent thirty minutes playing stuff by PFFR, Toecutter and Flying Lotus, along with a hastily-cobbled together remix of the end theme from Blade Runner. Mixomatosis may be dead, but it's a good job it's an open grave...
31 - 14/11/09 @ The Blue Room, PJ McGinty's, Ipswich (bootleg)
And so it came - THE final fuck off. And it was just as much of a shambles as the first show, way back in 2005 in Chelmsford. A dodgy sound guy, an indifferent crowd, and a long, arduous crawl off stage towards the exit and down the stairs, swallowing both my pride and my vomit, ensured a memorable send-off for this most ridiculous of musical adventures. I opened for an otherwise impeccable lineup courtesy of Antigen Records (the guys behind the equally excellent Pindown), including Henry Homesweet, Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer and John Callaghan.
30 - 24/9/09 @ The Railway Hotel, Southend-On-Sea (bootleg)
The penultimate fuck off... Excellent local collective Culture As A Dare made the ill-advised decision to put me on with a load of folk and indie bands, like NOW, Plus Plus and Wolvenoll. As it turns out, I went down rather well... No vomit this time, but at the climax of the show the audience decided to crowd-surf me off the stage to the exit, where I subsequently managed to sell precisely 1 (one) CD.
29 - 22/8/09 @ Slack Space, Colchester (bootleg)
The decision was made - Mixomatosis had to die. The joke had gone on about 3 years too long, and it wasn't even a funny joke in the first place. And so began 'The Long Hard Fuck Off - The Mixomatosis Farewell Tour', an epic 3-date tour spread across four months and two (count 'em) counties. What was notable about this gig was that I threw up at the end of my set, while the DJ Rev Wright was trying to introduce his act. Also on the bill was (guess who...) Tristan Burfield, as well as a selection of videos presentations. I think they were meant to be funny.
28 - 11/6/09 @ Kursaal Function Suite, Southend-On-Sea (bootleg)
A major coup here - Mixomatosis playing at the legendary Kursaal. OK, it wasn't the main arena, but still... It was a cabaret-themed night to open the Southend Fringe Festival, and other suitably glitzy turns included the excellent Wendy Solomon and Dave Woodcock, and local tap-dance troupe Delusion. Yep, I did a gig with tap-dancers.
27 - 21/5/09 @ The Bull Music Room, Colchester (bootleg)
I shouldn't have performed this evening. It was my birthday, and rather than spend it relaxing and watching The Venture Bros on blu ray, I decided to put on a packed evening of entertainment, including Kunt And The Gang, John Callaghan, Cats Against The Bomb, The Abominable Mr Tinkler, The Fez! and Pindown. And one thing led to another, and before you knew it I'd grabbed the mic, plugged my iPod in and proceed to perform "the mashup from hell," Call On Valerie. Right before the headliner was due to go on. It's not the best decision I've ever made in my life.
26 - 15/4/09 @ The Beacon, Bletchley (bootleg)
Two days before this show (exactly four years after my first ever live performance) I ran into a tree and got a thorn stuck in my eye. Thus I was in a fairly delicate state. So much so I nearly pulled the gig. But with the dream team of Shitmat and DJ Scotch Egg also on the bill, I couldn't let them down. So I did a 30-minute mix of my own stuff and a few of my favourite tracks, then did a heavily-diluted performance with it. Also on the lineup were Tristan Burfield (again) and Kulture, who I didn't see as I was outside barbequeing food with Scotchy.
25 - 21/3/09 @ Arts Centre, Colchester (bootleg)
About three years previously I was supposed to be doing a house party show that would be delivered in the style of a lecture as opposed to a standard live show. That gig was cancelled, but after my original plan for this evening of live art had to be pulled, I decided to resurrect this idea and combine it with the usual shambolic style of Mixo performance. What followed was twenty minutes of making slanderous comments about Andrew Lloyd Webber, pretending to be Kelly Osbourne, screaming at Vanilla Ice and an exit that almost destroyed Tristan Burfield's technical set-up. As well as Tristan, other artists included Ilona Sagar, Rebecca Wigmore, Rebecca Nevset, Holly Rumble, Poppy Jackson, Dawn Rose and Dot Howard.
24 - some point in 11/08 @ V Bar, Colchester (ambient)
Dan Merrill's Mutebox night came to the V Bar, but the man himself had to pull out at the very last minute, with no replacement. Not wanting to see people pay £5 just for two acts, I offered to go grab my laptop and provide an improvised ambient set, much like the one I did at the Cambridge Arms two years earlier. The seedling planted two years earlier at the Cambridge Arms was blooming, and the success of this show led to what is now known as Za Ginipiggu. Can't remember who the other acts were though.
23 - 16/8/08 @ The Swan, Ipswich (Gameboy)
This was a great event called "Robobox", run by the arty-sounding Le Collectif group. In the afternoon, several audience members and I made some robots out of bits of electronic junk collected by LC and Floods Doug And Adam whilst eating some BBQ goodies. In the evening, I opened with 10 minutes of Gameboy covers that, once again, went down a storm, and was followed by ainablA nI giB (he had some phase-invertion problems), Astroboy, Diagram and Son, the incredibly loud JM Bowers (not with ZEROPOINTENERGY as advertised, as he's apparently banned from the Swan), and a very nice young upstart called Pixelh8. Discobiscuit didn't turn up; they probably had to be up early for their paperrounds or something. BIA DJed into the early hours...
22 - 3/8/08 @ The Railway Hotel, Southend-On-Sea (Gameboy/bootleg)
"++//PANIC//02//++" (apparently), hosted by Little Penguin and headlined by yours truly, with support by Kkakai and my former university tutor Sonicslice. Strange venue - smaller than my living room, with a sofa, a bed and a big fuck-off PA system that sounded fantastic (eventually). I did 9 minutes of Gameboy stuff, with a 20 minute bootleg encore by request.
21 - 24/6/08 @ The What!?! Bar, Colchester (Gameboy)
My first live show in over 7 months, playing at a "private" party organised by an old college friend of mine Tom Servo (not that one, obviously) under the banner "Build Zoots Not Bombs". I decided to try something a little different for this one, playing nothing but stuff written and performed on a Nintendo Gameboy and a megaphone from Maplin. And surprisingly, it went down a storm. So expect more of this in the near future...
20 - 15/6/08 @ Fabrica Gallery, Brighton (DJ)
A rare matinee appearance by Mixomatosis here, as I played everything from early Autechre rave singles to Gazza's Fog On The Tyne at a fashion fair organised by the good folks at the Red Mutha clothes shop. Apparently Pete from Big Brother (the one with Tourette Syndrome) DJed there the day before, and played stuff from the Lion King. Which set the benchmark fairly low, but hopefully I managed to go even lower. A DJ battle between Mixomatosis and Pete was suggested, but fell on deaf ears. Wankers.
19 - 21/2/08 @ Arts Centre, Colchester (DJ)
Another CAC DJ set, this time to an absolutely packed crowd, supporting French-Canadian folk-punk-rockers Vialka and the ever so lovely Hissing At Swans. I played stuff from the Clangers soundtrack.
18 - 22/12/07 @ Arts Centre, Colchester (DJ)
A splendid evening in the company of Goodiepal, Freeze Puppy, Hissing At Swans, Dead Rat Orchestra and friends, which featured me playing all manner of Christmas classics from the likes of Half Man Half Biscuit and Spinal Tap. DEAR PEOPLE. DEAR PEOPLE. DEAR PEOPLE OF. DEAR PEOPLE OF. DEAR PEOPLE OF COLCHESTER. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE PROGRAMMED.
17 - 9/11/07
For the dignity of all involved, officially this gig never happened. Let's simply call it Sausagegate (thanks Graham).
16 - 21/4/07 @ The Cambridge Arms, Colchester (bootleg)
A one-night Digital Vomit spectacular, co-organised by yours truly and LoveLove Records (aka The Fez), with Chicago's own Solypsis, Scorpio Scorpio, ZEROPOINTENERGY, Mick The Hippy, and the brothers Flood. Ask someone else about this gig, they'll describe it much better.
15 - 18/12/06 @ The Cambridge Arms, Colchester (ambient)
My first ambient set, which no-one turned up to. With The Fez and CBT. Sounded quite good actually. Planted the seedling for Za Ginipiggu...
14 - 24/11/06 @ The Beacon, Bletchley (bootleg)
A Tesco Value live show with Duracell, Shitmat, Gibbo, Ladyscraper, Cowboy Education w/ Tigers and the truly excellent Devil Woman, aka. The Gross Consumer and Happy Goth, who DJed some real classics from The Complaints Department.
13 - 08/9/06 @ Room 24, Southend (bootleg)
"Booty", a night of bootlegs at which I lowered the tone dramatically, with BushNo10 and Essexboy, and hosted by Cheekyboy. The best bit was when I was miming to Nelly, and some woman walked past me with a disgusted look on her face. Laugh? I nearly shat myself.
12 - 18/8/06 @ Arts Centre, Colchester (bootleg)
A rather fun gig at my favourite venue, with Duran Duran Duran, Pisstank, Cats Against The Bomb and The Fez. Around 5 people saw me sing 'Earth Song' whilst claiming I actually was Michael Jackson.
11 - 09/8/06 @ Arts Club, Notting Hill, London (bootleg)
"Being Boiled", hosted by the lovely ladies of Client (yes, Sarah Blackwood from Dubstar's band, I know, I couldn't believe it myself), plus incite/ and a load of generic indie-electro bands that are ten-a-penny in North London. One of my favourite gigs - some enjoyed it, some ignored it, others thought I was insane (in the biblical sense).
10 - 14/5/06 @ Resonance 104.4 FM, London (DJ/bootleg)
"Live" radio DJ set on "TheSaturdayNightMashUp" with special guest Holestar, and hosted by SpaxWax. The stuff with Holestar was brilliant, the rest was... meh.
9 - 12/3/06 @ The Swan Pub, Ipswich (bootleg)
"Offworld Safari", a truly bizarre affair at which no-one paid any attention to what I was doing, with Astroboy and hosted by Smoothgroove. As I recall I serenaded a bouncer's feet at one point.
8 - 15/2/06 @ Volks Tavern, Brighton (bootleg)
Wrong Music's "The St. Valentine's Day Massacre", my most disasterous gig to date, with Monopolka, Chevron, Shitmat, and tons more of that sort of thing. "We don't do soundchecks" - someone from Wrong Music.
7 - 03/2/06 @ Buffalo Bar, Highbury, London (DJ)
A support for the actually quite good indie-electro band Wrong Animal, with some other bands who weren't good enough to remember. I opened with The Goodies and the Abominable Mr Tinkler and went downhill from there.
6 - 17/12/05 @ Arts Centre, Colchester (bootleg)
Billed as Father Christmatosis, "Santa Claus Is Conning Your Town" was the Christmas attempt at Smash My Face In, with Fast Lady, The Two Rabbits, The Shite Wipes, and V/Vm on the decks. To give you an idea of how shambolic my set was, the gig was on a Saturday - I found out about it on the Wednesday, and I was in an NHS mental health unit on the Thursday, and by the Saturday I was singing 'Do They Know It's Christmas' by Band Aid dressed as Saint Nicholas, hating every second of it.
5 - 04/8/05 @ Asylum Bar, Soho, London (DJ/bootleg)
"Bastard 83", the home of live bootlegs, where it all went very very wrong. Or right. With Holestar, and hosted by Cartel Communique. 40 minutes was spent playing a work in progress version of New Beat Take 0, 20 were spent miming, spilling beer (then rolling around in it), singing 'Angels' by Robbie Williams and annoying a lot of people in the process. Miserable gits.
4 - 21/5/05 @ Vagabonds (R.I.P.), Colchester (DJ)
"Mutebox 2.2", at which no-one turned up to for too many valid reasons to recall, with Sonic Tek Department, The Amputee Cliniq, and hosted by The Mice. I played precisely four songs.
3 - 19/5/05 @ Arts Centre, Colchester (bootleg)
The legendary "Smash My Face In" gig, where blood was spilled and noses were misplaced (that is, my blood and my nose), with V/Vm, Scorpio Scorpio, The Abominable Mr Tinkler, Big In Albania and a spectacular live version of Bullseye hosted by Jim "Bowen" Kirby.
2 - 15/4/05 @ Social Club, Chelmsford (bootleg)
"Hospital Radio Chelmsford - Five For A Fiver", my first proper gig doing the performance thing, with Broken Toys (featuring event organiser, employee of RDF Media and former colleague Rich Lyman), Bugfly, Geisha, Rostock, The Wolf Tracks, and compere Eric Hall. Yes, the Eric Hall. I was on first, and he left as soon as I'd finished. Coincidence? One very much doubts it. His comments - "very unprofessional".
1 - 23/10/04 @ St Christopher's Inn, Borough, London (DJ)
"Uprising 3.5", my first ever DJ set, hosted by BushNo10 and featuring a load of people from Get Your Bootleg On. Actually quite successful, but not only was I bored stiff, my mum, my auntie, my mum's work colleague, my mum's boyfriend's brother and his boyfriend all turned up too. Which cramped my already limited style somewhat.